Another great invention that human beings have come up with is resolutions that can only be started and kept from the 1st day of the New Year which also leaves us feeling slightly hopeless and inadequate around February and also inactive until the next New Year. When did we become so attached to time that we forgot our universe is our own to master and we can clean the slate as much as we require without having to wait for a specific date. We can even clean it every single day if need be. But procrastination is a human excuse and dis-ease that has conquered us all: I can start on Monday; I will start in the New Year; I will try again next month. Or ever so often if we fail once, we just stop all together not realising that ours is the power to start all over if we choose to or just accept the small mistake and continue with the greater effort.
Of course this is the worst of it all and through we are able to see what we have let these holidays become to us which is mostly a commercial event filled with various reasons for people to either feeling guilty or good about themselves.
For me, this past season was one of peace and restfulness. Having just been married on the 24th of November and coming back from our Honeymoon on the 8th of December whilst still having leave until the leave until the 18th of December, we never fully got into the whole holiday season.... And it was probably the most pleasant Christmas I have ever had, even including my childhood ones. We had friends over for Christmas lunch on the 24th and spent the whole 25th in our pajamas reading, lounging and watching movies.
Then we relaxed and took the same laid back attitude towards New Year: We had my brother, his girlfriend and another friend over and we played poker the whole night through (which got terribly interesting the drunker the people got).
During all this peacefulness and relaxing that took us over, it suddenly dawned on me that I had forgotten about myself somewhere during the last period of time we measure as a year. How do you do that? Most of us do it for a whole lifetime and never even notice it. Women of the previous era did it as soon as they got a family and providers of poorer families do it still.
In the past year, I have forgotten to take care of myself, to relax, to eat healthy because I feel good, to do yoga when I can instead of feeling guilty when I don't, to buy things that are beautiful for me and gifts that are small and personal for the people I love. The most important thing in my life that I so very often spent the most time on, had disappeared from my radar and instead of doing things that I loved, I was suddenly taking up things that I felt an unexplained responsibility to do.
At the end of 2007 I was at a loss for why my body was aching, why frustration had been plaguing me and my colleagues for over 6 months and where my usual routine of health, wealth and peace had gone to. Although I realised the disruption in my life, I am still at a loss for the general identicalness of problems that seemed to have taken place everywhere and with everyone (were the planets out of sync I wonder and hope that this could be my easy explanation). After taking careful assessment of everything in my life I realised that it was because I was for some reason, pressured into doing things that I felt I had to. Who did the pressuring? Me of course. Why? Heaven only knows, but it is a social tendency for our race and world in its current state to accept responsibility for things that aren't given to us first of all and then we are guilted and pressured for things that do not matter to the universe as much as we make them out to.
So after Christmas I made my decision to go back to taking care of me. Not me at the expense of others for that is ultimately the worst form of self-care. Me evaluated and prioritized. For me this means taking time to watch sunrises and sunsets instead of tv. To spend time with my journal and husband instead of the internet. To reconnect with my spirit through drawing and writing instead of finding ways to not create in my life. For me it means taking care of my eating habits and exercising in ways that are pleasing to both my soul and my body and sometimes even the environment as well.
I suppose taking care of yourself means something different to everyone but ultimately it should be a means for you to connect with the silence where your spirit resides. These decisions should be made daily instead of waiting for an event or a date to take place. These decissions should be made knowing that you are the maker of your world and you have the power to make these decisions as many times as you need or even change them as much as is right for your being.
Having said all this, I wish to give the world my wishes of love and blessings throughout e
very day of their lives and should you feel that these blessings run out towards the end of the year, I hope that the next year the realisation will find you that God's love and blessings are still just as strong as ever everyday without fail.Peace to all
Blogged with Flock
No comments:
Post a Comment